Funny Quotes

The only type of quote better than a wise saying is that which brings a sense of humor and laughter as it communicates real truth to the whole world.

Check out below for a good laugh

  • I want to peacefully die in my sleep as my grandfather did not scream and yelling like passengers in his vehicle.
  • Borrow money from a pessimist; you know why they will not expect it back.
  • I love this myth that the rings of planet Saturn are made of lost airline baggage.
  • The doctor broke the good news to me that, I have a disease that will be named after me.
  • A successful man is he who makes more money than his wife can exhaust, a successful lady is one who gets such a man.
  • Its knowledge knows that a tomato is a fruit; it is not wisdom including it in a fruit salad.
  • Why the hell do people start by saying “no offense” just before they say or do something that hugely offends you?
  • Telling the truth is the way to lie, some keenly edited truth.
  • Never get into an argument with an idiot, they will pull you down to their level and then beat you pathetically with experience.
  • It does not make you a Christian going to church, just like standing in a garage makes you no vehicle.
  • Males only have two feelings, horny or hungry. If you meet him without an erection, please make him a sandwich.
  • Never at any time take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.
  •  Stealing from a single author is plagiarism, stealing from many is research.
  • My mom never sees anything wrong with calling me “son of a bitch.”
  • Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
  • woman in dressIt was impossible repairing your brakes, so I made your hooter louder.
  •  You spend the first two years teaching and training a child to talk and walk; the next sixteen years are spend forcing them to remain seated and quite.
  • I keep wondering why Noah did not swat the two mosquitoes.
  • The problem with being punctual is that nobody appreciates. Wait until you arrive late.
  • It is true that hard work has never killed anyone, but why should I take the risk?
  • I grew up together with my six brothers that are how I learned dancing is waiting for the bathroom.

That was funny right? keep smiling all the time, it is healthy.