Funny Quotes

The only type of quote better than a wise saying is that which brings a sense of humor and laughter as it communicates real truth to the whole world.

Check out below for a good laugh

• I want to peacefully die in my sleep as my grandfather did not scream and yelling like passengers in his vehicle.
• Borrow money from a pessimist; you know why they will not expect it back.
• I love this myth that the rings of planet Saturn are made of lost airline baggage.
• The doctor broke the good news to me that, I have a disease that will be named after me.
• A successful man is he who makes more money than his wife can exhaust, a successful lady is one who gets such a man.
• Its knowledge knows that a tomato is a fruit; it is not wisdom including it in a fruit salad.
• Why the hell do people start by saying “no offense” just before they say or do something that hugely offends you?
• Telling the truth is the way to lie, some keenly edited truth.
• Never get into an argument with an idiot, they will pull you down to their level and then beat you pathetically with experience.
• It does not make you a Christian going to church, just like standing in a garage makes you no vehicle.
• Males only have two feelings, horny or hungry. If you meet him without an erection, please make him a sandwich.
• Never at any time take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.
•  Stealing from a single author is plagiarism, stealing from many is research.
• My mom never sees anything wrong with calling me “son of a bitch.”
• Some people bring happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
• It was impossible repairing your brakes, so I made your hooter louder.
•  You spend the first two years teaching and training a child to talk and walk; the next sixteen years are spend forcing them to remain seated and quite.
• I keep wondering why Noah did not swat the two mosquitoes.
• The problem with being punctual is that nobody appreciates. Wait until you arrive late.
• It is true that hard work has never killed anyone, but why should I take the risk?
• I grew up together with my six brothers that are how I learned dancing is waiting for the bathroom.

That was funny right? keep smiling all the time, it is healthy.